cars news 10: 2016 Dodge Charger SRT Hellcat Long Term Update 6: KILL ALL TIRES Edition

“As soon as Jason’s done, get on the walkie and say, ‘Let me warm up the tires first.’ Then do a big burnout.” Those were the instructions from my director, Anthony Esposito. In other words, commanded me to do. See, we were filming episode 4 of season six of Head 2 Head. Miata RF versus Toyota 86. So, naturally, obviously, we had to sneak in a long-term Hellcat cameo. Wouldn’t you? Of course you would.

Burnout I did. It was OK. Shifted into second gear, the speedo said 56 mph as I eased off the brakes and began leaving telltale black stripes down the front straight at Streets of Willow. Total length? Maybe fifty feet, maybe a bit more, maybe less. Obviously the Charger Hellcat and the chronically underrated (says me) 650 pound-feet of torque it comes packing from the factory is capable of more. Much, much more.

Take two. Yeah baby! Now we’re talking. I shift up to third gear and hold that big 6.2-liter supercharged V-8 steady at 4,000 rpm, an engine speed that in my mind/experience squarely equates to maximum tire death. Count backwards from 10, slip the brakes, and lay rubber. Halfway down the straight seems appropriate, adequate. Much, much better. I may have had to perform another burnout (or two) for “safety.” Remember, our video team’s mantra: Perfect, do it again.

“After you’re done with your lap, go ahead and stage up a few corners before the skid pad. We’re going to film you drifting back onto the front straight and then blowing past the finish line.” Most 4,530-pound family sedans don’t drift so well. The Hellcat, however, is different, and even a hack like me can do something that looks decent enough on camera. Though apparently, not quite decent enough.

“Jason, do you think you could do a giant drift onto the front straight?” Anthony asked Mr. Difto, Jason Cammisa. Jason said no problem, hopped in the Hellcat, did a practice sideways slide, and came to a complete stop. “I can hear the tire separating,” he says worriedly over the walkie-talkie. We check and sure enough cords of tire are hanging off the big Pirellis. Lots and lots of cords. “The air is showing,” joked Randy Pobst. Oops.

2016 Dodge Charger SRT Hellcat rear taillight

2016 Dodge Charger SRT Hellcat rear badge

2016 Dodge Charger SRT Hellcat front interior seats

2016 Dodge Charger SRT Hellcat interior view 02

2016 Dodge Charger SRT Hellcat instrument cluster

2016 Dodge Charger SRT Hellcat center stack screen

A quick, 19-mile trip down to the tire shop was much more arduous than you might think. Obviously, we determined that the rears were shipshape enough to put-put down the freeway in a very un-Hellcat manner, i.e. obeying the speed limit. However, there were a bunch of those separated cords wrapped around things like half-shafts that were producing horrible, end of the world-sounding noises. Long story short, once I got the big red Charger safely to the shop and the rear wheels came off, I wasn’t surprised at the sheer volume of rubber woven into the rear suspension. Nor the tire mung melted onto the bottom of the exhaust pipes.

I went to grab the left rear for a picture and the tire shop employee hollered, “Don’t touch that!” in reference to the very exposed steel part of the steel belted radials. “They’re like razors.” I wanted to say something to the effect of, “Yeah man, not my first wanton destruction of company property rodeo.” Instead I just played dumb. Dumb beats guilty, no? The sad part is that the hour and a half I had filming the thing on the track is the first 90 minutes I’d been able to spend with the Hellcat since Obama was President.

What did I learn? Never let Jason Cammisa drive your car.